Igenlode Wordsmith (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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classicfilm2018-12-01 02:26 pm
igenlode) wrote in classicfilm2018-12-01 02:26 pm
Unfortunate Missing Letters
Famous films, and how they might have been. (Originally written as a New Statesman competition entry and discovered in the bottom of a box...)
The Titfield Thunderbo[l]t: British Rail want to close the branch line -- but little do they know the old engine in the local museum is a self-transforming alien in disguise...
Waterloo Brid[g]e: Army officer jumps under a truck as his ballerina love marries Another.
A Mat[t]er of Life and Death: Binns Minor has to climb an everlasting staircase in the afterlife in search of his mother.
The Red [S]Hoes: Torn between her Dutch and shorthandled implements, a famous gardener sacrifices her life for her art.
The War Between the Wo[r]lds: The invading forces of Lincolnshire unexpectedly fall prey to the Leicestershire Lurgy.
Li[v]e and Let Die: Bond reclines in comfort as his sinister adversary expires.
[G]One with the Wind: A beautiful Southern belle with an unfortunate problem.
(and its equally obscure counterpart, Gone with the Win[d], featuring a vanishing bookie as the favourite romps home.)
The Ma[n] Who Never Was: Faking family history.
Li[f]e and Death of Colonel Blimp: This time, Clive Candy's chivalry catches up with him.
Seven [B]Rides for Seven Brothers: Stirring musical song-and-dance about a mass horse kidnap.
The Titfield Thunderbo[l]t: British Rail want to close the branch line -- but little do they know the old engine in the local museum is a self-transforming alien in disguise...
Waterloo Brid[g]e: Army officer jumps under a truck as his ballerina love marries Another.
A Mat[t]er of Life and Death: Binns Minor has to climb an everlasting staircase in the afterlife in search of his mother.
The Red [S]Hoes: Torn between her Dutch and shorthandled implements, a famous gardener sacrifices her life for her art.
The War Between the Wo[r]lds: The invading forces of Lincolnshire unexpectedly fall prey to the Leicestershire Lurgy.
Li[v]e and Let Die: Bond reclines in comfort as his sinister adversary expires.
[G]One with the Wind: A beautiful Southern belle with an unfortunate problem.
(and its equally obscure counterpart, Gone with the Win[d], featuring a vanishing bookie as the favourite romps home.)
The Ma[n] Who Never Was: Faking family history.
Li[f]e and Death of Colonel Blimp: This time, Clive Candy's chivalry catches up with him.
Seven [B]Rides for Seven Brothers: Stirring musical song-and-dance about a mass horse kidnap.